The Illusion
When I first started getting serious about setting goals to shape my life, I believed I knew exactly what I wanted. But as I dug deeper, a quiet voice asked, “Is this really my dream, or is it someone else’s?”
I realized I had been visualizing the familiar blueprint:
- Go to college
- Land a steady job
- Buy a house
- Settle down
But when my life didn’t unfold that way, I felt guilt—like I had veered off course. I wondered if not chasing those goals meant I was failing.
I didn't have money to go to college, or amazing job opportunities, or direction, or support. After having a bunch of unfulfilling service jobs, I immersed myself in learning different skills, so I could help others in the process and thus feel more motivated to get up and work. I decided from a young age I would follow my heart instead.
Still, I couldn’t shake the pressure to succeed. I had a vague image of success in my head—wealth, recognition, stability—but it wasn’t even something I had defined for myself. It was borrowed from the world around me.
Redefining What Success Means
I thought I wanted success. What I really wanted was fulfillment. So I asked, how can I feel fulfilled?
- Pursue meaningful work that genuinely helps others directly.
- Be authentic in all relationships.
- Embrace growth and discomfort.
- Train my body to be strong and flexible so I can physically feel up to challenges.
- Focus on better posture and breathing habits.
- Eat food that builds my body stronger.
- Build a life with a partner who values the same growth.
When I wrote these down, I felt something shift. For the first time, my goals sounded like me.
Money and success can open doors, but they can just as easily distract us from what’s important. It’s tempting to chase after things that, in the end, weigh us down instead of lifting us up.
We can buy almost anything—except fulfillment.
With these new goals as my guide, I found opportunities to learn and grow in ways I’d never imagined. Teaching and practicing aerial dance gave me both physical and mental strength and flexibility. Cooking and sharing healthy recipes transformed my health and how I felt in my body. Learning photography and videography allowed me to express new creativity. Most importantly, I built relationships rooted in growth, joy, and shared excitement for the journey ahead.
Who You Become While You’re Becoming
We don’t become what we want. We become what we practice.
Every step you take toward your desires shapes you. Every sentence you write in your story becomes part of your identity.
That’s why it’s so important to ask yourself:
- Who am I becoming as I chase this goal?
- Am I building a life I admire?
- Is this path leading me closer to fulfillment or just comfort?
Become someone you look up to.
Not by chasing things, but by crafting your identity with intention.
How to Start (Simple Practice)
- Write down your values. What truly matters to you? Let this guide your decisions.
- Craft “I am” statements. Define who you are and who you are becoming.
- Focus on gratitude. Acknowledge what’s already good. Gratitude anchors you in the present while you grow.
Be careful what you wish for—because one day, those wishes will become the life you live. And the person standing in the mirror will be a reflection of every decision you made along the way. Let that reflection be someone you’re proud of.
Astrology as a Goal-Setting Tool
I’ve always loved exploring metaphors and the duality of life choices—how we’re often pulled between what feels safe and familiar and what challenges us to grow. When I discovered the concept of the North and South Nodes in astrology, it all clicked. It gave me language to describe the tension between my comfort zone and the growth I craved.
South Node: Comfort & Mastery. The South Node represents your comfort zone—the place where you naturally excel but can feel unfulfilled. It’s the life you live on autopilot, relying on patterns and skills you’ve already mastered.
My South Node is in Cancer, which means I’m deeply drawn to emotional connection, nurturing relationships, and creating a warm, safe home. I easily built this for myself—it’s where I thrive. But if I stay in this space indefinitely, I risk stagnation. Comfort, though sweet, can become unfulfilling without growth.
North Node: Growth & Challenge. The North Node represents growth, challenge, and the unfamiliar. It’s your guide to unlocking your highest potential, but the journey often feels uncertain and uncomfortable.
My North Node is in Capricorn, which encourages me to build solid foundations in my career, take on leadership roles, and embrace responsibility. It’s about stepping into authority and creating long-term goals that reflect discipline and purpose.
This framework helped me realize not to get stuck in my South Node—pursuing safe, familiar goals. My North Node urges me to grow in ways that live beyond my comfort zone.
How This Can Help You Set Goals
The North and South Nodes provide a unique lens for self-reflection. By understanding these two points, you can pinpoint where you’re comfortable but unfulfilled (South Node) and where you’re being called to grow (North Node).
When setting your goals, ask yourself:
- Am I staying too close to my comfort zone?
- What challenges feel daunting but exciting?
- How can I use my natural talents to support the growth I want to achieve?
For me, this meant rethinking my definition of success. I moved away from goals that kept me safe and started embracing goals that stretched me—helping others transform their lives, continuing to learn, and stepping into leadership roles that required courage and effort.
Astrology doesn’t have to dictate your life, but it’s a powerful tool for understanding the natural rhythms of your journey. It’s a reminder to honor where you’ve been while bravely stepping into where you’re meant to go.
